This week marks British Pie Week we believe pie should be a staple part of our diet. I mean apple pie counts as one of your five a day, right? Here are some times when any problem or situation faced can be solved with pie.
The day after the night before: you’re rough as hell and feeling sorry for yourself. You need to eat pie, not a slice, not a slither, a whole pie!
When you’re trapped in a glass case of emotions: Eat pie. Maybe a sweet pie with loads of ice cream. Whatever your choice just eat through the tears.
Friday plan fail: You were dressed ready to go out then everyone bails. Don’t let the night go to waste. Eat pie.
You’ve finished your Sunday Dinner: you don’t have anymore room but something’s missing. Eat pie. This is specific only apple pie with custard and ice cream.
Free Pie: You’re not exactly gonna say no, are you?
Birthday Pie: That should be a thing, surely?
You’re about to give bad news: Give the person pie, they won’t remember what you’ve said once they are eating pie. Fact.
When someone asks about your political views on a night out: Respond with pie. Throw one in their face. Just say ‘pie’ then walk off. Slowly eat a pie in front of them.
When you’re a bit… inexperienced: We’ve all seen it, don’t make me say it, and for god sake don’t eat this one after.
It’s Tuesday: Eat pie. Why Not? You can celebrate making it through Monday.