Public transport… Handy? Sure. Affordable? Yup. Efficient? Mostly.
But, it’s never quite that straight forward is it? Between ‘improvements to services, ‘network failure’ and countless delays, public transport can be the bane of our existence. The struggle is real.
Commuters, get on board with our handy travel guide:
1. Breathe through your nose
Ain’t nobody need to feel your warm, not so minty fresh morning breath. And don’t even think about yawning – I can practically taste your breakfast from here.
2. Mind that bag
Spacial awareness will get you far in life – especially when it comes to your backpack. Think it’s doing just fine over your shoulder? Think again. While you may be completely unaware your beloved rucksack is nose to nose with someone – you’re about to have your head bitten off by a not-so friendly passenger. Good luck with that.
3. Soap and glory
If you’re a lil’ vertically challenged, you’ll be only too familiar with being stuck at armpit height of the man who’s forgot to use his roll-on this AM. Or if you’re blessed with legs eleven, you’ll be hovering over the flaking scalp of someone. It’s a lose – lose situation. Pick your spot carefully and pray for co-preened passengers.
4. Penny pinchers
Ever missed your train or tram ‘cos of a hold up at the ticket machine? That’s enough to put you in a bad mood for the rest of the morning. It’s 2017 people, there’s an app for this sh*t!
5. Do not disturb
Forty minutes to kill, the perfect excuse to check in with the girls and take advantage of the free wifi. But please, leave the personal calls until you get home. Telling your BFF (and subsequently the general public) about Friday night’s NSFW antics is not cool.
6. Form an orderly queue
People who get on before letting passengers off baffles me on the daily. And letting mums with prams and the elderly on before you is the unwritten rule. Just sayin’.
7. Whip it real good
People-watching is a guilty pleasure we all indulge in, and public transport can be an IRL catwalk. There’s always one girl who knows she looks on point. But there’s that fine line between confidence and arrogance girls and the hair flick is a step too far. Carry out a risk assessment on your locks before any sass action is taken. One flip will take down multiple commuters if you’re not careful.
8. Snooze you lose
Heavy nights and early mornings don’t go hand in hand, but we’ve all been there. No time for a coffee on your way out the door and before you know it you’re mid-bus nap. Snoring, sleep-talking, leaning on the stranger to the left, and drooling in public. Need we say more?
GIF source: Giphy