Ah – the classic dreaded hangover. Some of us will know these stages a lil’ bit too well…
9am – Ignorance is Bliss
Last night was unreal and you’re still totally buzzing. Your feet hurt from dancing and you feel slightly fuzzy but you’re pretty smug RN. Life is good.
12pm Reality Hits
Don’t speak too soon my little cherub. After a gigantic ‘damage control’ fry-up and a fizzy drink you feel totally invincible, until your whole world caves in, the moment you actually start to sober up.
2pm Beer Fear Central
Palpitations? Check. Beer sweats? Check. Tequila radiating from your pores? Yup. And then the anxiety kicks in. Who did you text last night? What is that bruise on your thigh & why do you have a missed call from someone called ‘Fried Chicken Paul’?
In a breathless panic you immediately check your bank balance and call your BFF for some answers pronto!
4pm Game Over
When will this ever end? The bright lights and loud noises are just too much and the sunglasses become a permanent fixture. Nothing can curb your thirst and you’ve resorted to lying on the bathroom floor, just in case your fry-up makes a second appearance. Those famous last words, “I’m NEVER drinking again.”
6pm The Fetal Position
“If you need me I’ll just be curled up in a ball in this corner over here”
You’ve lost all hope of recovering anytime soon, all dignity from flashing your pants at a bar full of people last night and any irrational thought goes out of the window. Can someone get me a cuddle on speed dial and a box of tissues so I can cry at the adverts and wallow in my own self-pity? Woe is me.
Queue my Man Vs Food moment, it’s a moment to be proud of. Half of the take-out menu inhaled in one sitting and then you wonder if that ice cream is still in the freezer? Zero f***s given, carbs are the only way out!
10pm Ray of Light
You dig deep and find a smidge of positivity. After a good night’s sleep, everything may actually be okay. Tomorrow you’ll wake a whole new woman, stronger and wiser after your near death experience and you begin to rationalise your actions. You needed to let off some steam after all? Next time you won’t mix your drinks? If I’d have eaten dinner I’d have been fine today? It was an amazing night after all?
(Little do you realise there’s a second wave of hangover waiting nicely for you tomorrow, good luck with that)
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