Christmas Comebacks For The Single Girl

By Zhenya Nikolova

It’s the most wonderful time of the year…unless you are a single girl with a big, nosey family. As much as we love going home for Christmas and having a big family reunion, we dread those annoying questions we get asked every single year, I repeat every year without an exception. 

Is it just me or when we were younger, having a boyfriend wasn’t a massive issue but now that we’re single in our mid 20s, that’s the most worrying aspect of our lives? 

Personally, I was always told that boys should never come first, I should focus on getting a good education and building a successful career instead of always thinking about ‘boyfriends.’ Well I’ve done exactly what I was told. But NOOO! 

“Are you still single darling?”

“Are boys not being very kind to you?”

No grandma, I am single by choice. Boys aren’t horrible to me, I simply don’t have time for that right now.
Why aren’t our personal and professional accomplishments not good enough anymore? Do I have to commit to someone to prove you that I am completely fine and happy with my life? 

Sometimes it feels like our relatives have too much free time on their hands, they start worrying when in fact there is nothing they should be worried about. Because it’s not just boyfriends, it’s university, it’s working too much or not working much at all. It’s partying every weekend or not having enough social life, the list just goes on and on and on.

All these years, however, have taught me exactly how I should handle my family. And I’m sure the same methods would work with yours. 

Firstly, just accept it, they mean no harm. It would actually be worrying if your family didn’t nag at you over your Christmas meal.

Secondly, don’t give them the answers they want, don’t agree with them even if they are right- be sarcastic. 

When you get asked why you’re still single, tell them you’re too fabulous and over qualified- that will keep them quiet for a bit. When you overhear your Aunt Karen asking your mum how long it’s been since you last went on a date, come back at her with a little sass. My personal favourite, however, is announcing in front of everyone before I was even asked that David Beckham is still happily married so I am still happily single. Obviously you can replace the name David Beckham with your celebrity crush but if you want to shut them up and make them laugh, try this one out. Works every time. 

Most importantly, don’t be rude or horrible. Make sure your family understands you’re joking and being sarcastic. Don’t for a second make them think they’ve upset you or you are being a cow for no reason. After all it’s Christmas and no one wants a family reunion turning into a family fall out.

No matter how much we get nagged at and how much we complain about it, we love our families (even your cousin’s wife) and everything that comes with them.

So show a little sass, briefly update them on your relationship status or anything they want to know about and move on. Stick the Christmas songs on and after a few glasses of wine sing your heart out to single ladies.