Tinder had a total mare last night and decided to wipe away millions of people’s matches. I mean, okay, most of them back in our lives now, but we can’t be dealing with that BS again. Here are just some of the reasons why you should grab life by the b*lls and get those digits before the universe tries to tear you apart… again.

1. You hit ’em with the classic ‘I’m not actually into messaging on here, I’m more of a Whatsapp kinda gal’. AKA, I am much better than this so let’s take the party elsewhere.

2. You tell them that you’re running low on data. You do, however, have unlimited texts. Translation: I am not about to buy any more just so I can keep talking to you. Work with me here.

3.  The no-shame approach. I like you. You like me. You haven’t called me ‘pal’ or ‘mate’ yet. Things are going well… so let’s be adults. Gimme dat number. 

4.  The ‘life is too short’ method. You brainwash them into thinking that the world could end tomorrow and you will have never crossed each others mysterious, sexy paths. The time to act is NOW.

But then again, you could try all of these lil’ tips and tricks, all for them to go ahead and flat out reject you. Or worse… Ghost TF out of you and pretend you no longer exist. 

So it’s like that, is it? Okay. We see you. 

Well, you know what, you tried babes. We un-match, and we move on… and maybe sign up to POF.

Maybe.