Ah, house sharing… learning life lessons whilst trying to keep sane in an intense, and often unbearable environment. The time that brings out the best and the worst in those closest to you.
If you’ve ever shacked up with pals, you’ll most likely recognise one or more of the below. And in all likelihood, you’ll fit neatly into one of these categories too…
1. The Food Thief
The always anonymous and ever-hungry. The one who gets in after a night out and treats the communal fridge as an all-you-can-eat buffet. The one your anger edges towards when you find there is no bacon to fulfil your barm in which you have oh so sacredly prepped the night before. Whether it’s a drop of milk or a whole pizza – they’re the reason you have trust issues.
2. The Ghost
The anti-socialite of the house, who you never manage to cross paths with. You often spy trails of books or belongings but are still unable to trace down her persona. Every now and again it’s necessary to knock on and check they’re still alive. Also known as ‘the hermit’.
3. The Child
In other words; the clueless one. They’re usually naive about how the real world works and often surprised at how they have made it so far. Can often be found participating in pranks or eating chocolate for breakfast. You’ll often get armed with questions such as, ‘how do you cook pasta?’ and ‘how do I seperate my whites from my colours?’ Struggle is real guys.
4. The Party Animal
I.e the loose cannon. The one who has already set up the Ring of Fire station by the time you get home from your afternoon lecture. Easter, birthdays, the second Tuesday of the month… there’s always an excuse to go wild.
5. The OCD/Clean Freak/Note Leaver
If she could have it her way, there would be a laminated cleaning rota pinned to the fridge. She knows who’s pots are who’s and she isn’t afraid to rebuild the tower from the sink onto your bed, just in time for you to arrive home. And why have an awkward convo when you can say it through post-its?
‘You forgot to dry the pots, A xox’
6. The Mum
The one we really all need to thank for getting us through. She shouts at us for making to much noise when we arrive home at 3AM, yet she’s our no1 go-to when mankind p*ss us off. She escorts us home after we’ve drank more than we can handle and offers emotional support during times of hell i.e.. dissertation.
7. The Drama Queen
Can often fall under the category of ‘passive aggressive’. You don’t know what life changing episode you will be dragged into next. Have the bins not been taken out? Did she fail an assignment? You know her well enough to know when the fire is fuelling. If unsure, abort mission. I repeat, leave the house immediately and abort mission.