Christmas is over. And if Jan wasn’t blue enough, it’s about to get bluer. Alcohol has been banished. Will we fail? Will we succeed and swerve the spiced rums? Whichever way this challenge goes, here are the stages you’ll most likely be dragged through.
1. Jan 1st
Give up happy hour? Sure. I’m stronger than this. Bye bye pornstar martinis and hello way more money in my account. For other things. Other non drinking things…
2. Hitting The Bar On Your First Fizz-Free Night
“Want a drink?”
3. So You Gotta Be All Like
Momma didn’t raise no fool.
4. When You Friends Try To Get You To Break
And it’s day five of forever.
5. Your First Weekend Waking Up Hangover Free
And your friends can’t leave their beds. U OK HUNS?
6. So Now You Can Actually Do Things On Your Weekend
The downward dog in yoga. See some art in a gallery. Climb Everest (OK too far).
7. Becoming Suspicious Of Every Drink Offered
Even though you really want a white wine RN.
8. When You Get Given A Soft Drink
Coke? Where’s the rum?
9. “But Think Of All The Money You’re Saving”
10. When You Feel Like It Must Almost Be Over
But it’s actually just been three days.
11. When You Accidentally Crack Before The End Of The Month
Ain’t my fault…
12. And That Judgey Friend Comes Out With This On Feb 1st
Define telling a “lie”
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