13 year old me: ‘I’m going to be married by 25, have myself a cute little house, a brand new BMW and will be bossing it at my dream job.’

23 year old me: ‘LOL. What is anything? Help me plz’

This is a shout-out to everyone who feels lost, is constantly comparing themselves to randomers on social media, and generally doesn’t have a friggin’ clue what they’re doing with their life.

1. Relationships

‘When I was your age, I had already had my second baby’.

Well, grandma, I’ve just downloaded Tinder again for the 5th time. 

Sh*t happens. 

2. Zero savings

So even though you’re seeing at least one person a day on Facebook who has bought themselves a house, that is NEVER enough to stop you whipping out your card every Saturday night like it’s monopoly money.

 THE JÄGERS ARE ON ME.

3. Living sitch

You know what, there’s nothing like the person you’re dating asking this beauty of a question when you’re sorting out plans:

‘Shall we just chill at yours?’

I meaaaaaaaaaan, sure. If you don’t mind meeting my mum and dad after only 7 weeks of dating, COME ON OVER. We can get a Dominos and pretend we’re 15 again. It’ll be great.

4. Work life

Even though literally everyone else does it now, you cannot bring yourself to be short on email. 

Normal people:

‘Hi Emma,

Please can you send over that report by 3pm?

Kind regards’

Aaaaaand then there’s me…:

‘Hey Emma,

Hope you’re good!

I don’t suppose we could get that report from you by 3pm? 🙂

Any problems just give me text/ring/Skype/FaceTime. 

Thanks a lot!’

5. Your diet

Cooking? Ohhhhhhh yeah, that thing where you make the things. 

No. I don’t do that. Like, ever. 

Image source: giphy