by Jess Jepson
Gossip Girl is every girl’s go-to programme. Everyone wants to be Blair Waldorf. Everyone wants to marry a prince. But MOST importantly, everyone wants to find their Chuck Bass.
We all dream of emulating Queen B’s perfect life, but you can’t deny that GG is filled with unrealistic goals and expectations, sorry to crush your dreams…
A great love
Expectation: Finding a bae who owns an empire, rocks a tux everyday and loves scheming as much as you do.
Reality: Finding Joe who works in graphic design who probably doesn’t own a tie and wouldn’t know a scheme if it slapped him in the face. (But do you REALLY want a guy who’s gonna sell you for a hotel? Thought not.)
The grand gestures
Expectation: From travelling halfway across the world to deliver a shoe and meeting at the top of the Empire State building to dedicating a book to the woman you love – we’re not asking for much…
Reality: Bae drunk-dials you at 2AM – but at least they bring pizza.
‘Til death do us part
Expectation: Broadcasting scandals on Facebook and kissing your BFFs ex is totally acceptable, right?
Reality: Wrong. Life or death friendships don’t exist IRL. If you constantly treat your friends badly, whether you’re in desperate need of them or not, they won’t always come running. BE NICE.
All the glamour
Expectation: Donning your best Ralph Lauren dress and going to a masquerade ball on a Tuesday night.
Reality: Hating life in a spin class before eating dinner in your yoga pants.
Magical music moments
Expectation: Being followed round by Robyn who bursts into song at every dramatic/emotional/tense moment in your life.
All the sass
Expectation: Owning every moment and having a detailed script of sassy comebacks on hand to outwit everyone.
Reality: Drying up on the spot and thinking of all the things you COULD have said afterwards.
Expectation: Dating everyone in your friendship circle, your step sibling and ex boyfriend’s cousin because that’s totally normal
Reality: Your step brother? Just no.
The take downs
Expectation: Getting revenge and taking down everyone who’s ever wronged you.
Reality: You tell your mum and they dislike them forever more.
Expectation: Finding out your long-lost dad who’s also a doctor has fake-diagnosed your mum with cancer only to forgive him instantly.
Reality: AS IF THAT WOULD EVER HAPPEN.
High school sweethearts
Expectation: Marrying your high school sweetheart and living happily ever after in GG’s cyber world.
Reality: You can’t even get a text back.