Show me a girl who says she isn’t any of these people after a night out, and I will show you a liar. This is you and the squad every weekend, without fail.

1. The Crier

*Looks at takeaway menu* ‘You guys… They’ve got Hawaiian pizza… That was Adam’s FAVOURITE PIZZ-AAAAAAH-AH-AH-AAAAH’ *Kim K’s ugly cry follows*

Mate, I think I speak for us all when I say that nobody gives a sh*t about Adam’s pizza choices. Also, please get off of his Instagram. You’re 62 weeks deep now and it’s making everyone else nervous for you.

2. The Houdini/Disappearing Act

But seriously, how do you do this every. Single. TIME? We pre-drink, we form a plan, we queue up… Then BAM. We get inside and probably won’t see you for a solid week now. Bye, then?

3. The Hangry One

This one can be found running her mouth at the poor sods working at the 24 hour McDonalds. She’s practically climbing over the counter just so she can get her mits on that extra BBQ sauce which they forgot about. One word: feral.

4. The Toddler

So, at this point, she has done one of the following:

1. Lost her phone/dropped it in mayonnaise

2. Tried to eat her cheesy chips, but actually has more on her dress than in her mouth

3. Made her bed for the night on a random kerb with a pizza box for a pillow

5. The Social Butterfly

Nevermind us, this one has formed a whole new squad in the space of 20 minutes. Now we’re a party of 12 sat on a table in a takeaway together, and planning an after party at our flat…

What is happening?

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