I didn’t choose the Insta life, the Insta life chose me, and quite frankly it’s an addiction I, like millions of others won’t and don’t wanna kick. So how do you you know if you’re part of this squad? Read and see…

 

1. You’ve been known to ‘do it for the ‘Gram’ 

Put on a dress for ‘the shot’ and then got back into your comfies? No-one will ever know

 

2. You started churning phrases like: ‘It didn’t perform’ 

On photos of you and your boyf

 

3. Meals are a photoshoot

Back off from that burger Beth, you know the rules

 

4. Getting confused when people verbally tell you they liked your latest pic

Yet didn’t like it on the app?

 

5. You know your peak performance time 

And aren’t ashamed to post that 10/10 Full English live at 10pm if it gets more engagement

 

6. Insta-stalking over 4 weeks deep fills you with dread

DO NOT DOUBLE TAP

 

7. You’ve got hashtags coming out of your ears

#POTD #life #instadaily #instagood #howmanyhashtagsistoomanyhashtags

 

8. You’ve considered deleting a photo that flops 

Even if it’s of your Uncle’s 60th last week

 

9. When the app goes down, you start going a little cray

DESCRIBE YOUR FOOD TO ME JACK

 

10. You know to stand in the middle of group shots

I’m not being cropped out of anyone’s grid

 

11.  Gone are the days of #nofilter

These bad boys will go through half a dozen apps before going live

 

12. You feel like you know the people you follow on Instagram

Dan got a haircut last week, Sophie’s training for a 10K and that bardot dress Lily rocked last Saturday was all of the flame emojis

 

13. I went out last night to that new Italian – “Yeah I know I saw it on your Instagram story”

Becomes a regular occurrence

 

14. You feel like you’ve Insta scrolled for miles

It should be a sport

 

15. Whenever someone says they’re going on an epic holiday, you’ve considered unfollowing them

No-one needs your beach shots on a Monday Brenda when it’s throwing it down outside. That’s all I’m saying…

 

16. You’ve got Insta lost

It started with a quick browse but now you’re on your boyf’s cousin’s wife’s vacay photos from 2015. Miami looked like fun

 

17. You’ve got Insta poses down

Hot dog legs? Pah, could do that in my sleep

 

18. Your phone’s full of images

But only 1 out of 20 will make the cut

 

19. You’ve led an Insta-lie

That breakfast happened sure, about three weeks ago on a weekend in London. In reality you’re in bed

 

20. Getting compliments on your feed is like winning an Oscar

I’d like to thank Afterlight, a good eye for photography, natural light and a marble backdrop

 

Share: