Beauty and The Beast turns 25 this month. And don’t get me wrong, I love Disney. Who doesn’t? But whilst I’m on board with the fantasy, it’s fair to say, Belle set me up for a life fail. Here’s 10 unrealistic expectations she set.
There’s not a shop around for miles, that’s all I’m saying
1. The Build Up
The invite lands in your inbox. The date is set for what is always the best night of being employed. So what if it’s weeks away? The excitement sets in, as does outfit planning. Do I dress to impress? Or try something new in a trouser suit? Hair up? Hair down? Statement lip? Or smokey eye? Thank god we’ve got time to think this all through…
2. The Panic
So what we thought was “ages away” is actually next week and I’ve approximately no outfit options. Do I dig out one from the archive or just order half of the internet? Whispers are rapid around the office about what Clare from accounts is wearing. Mild panic sets in as Lauren and Rachel have ordered the same dress. This is more stress than Christmas Day.
3. The Getting Ready
You’ve got your outfit down and the night is here – that’s the hard bit over right? Oh no, getting ready. We do this everyday but Christmas Do night makes it 10x harder. Does this colour clash with my dress? Will my curls hold? Probably not. Add in a few cheeky pre-drinks, four girls around one mirror and you’ve got chaos central.
4. The Arrival
Hours and copious amounts of hairspray later, you’ve made it. Your make-up is on point, your hair is looking sassy and you feel like a million dollars. Savour the moment because it’s potentially all downhill from here. Group photos will most likely happen around about now where if you’re on the end of the gang you’ll literally be cut out come Instagram uploads – pick your spot wisely.
5. The ‘I’m going to take it slow’ Moment
We all know how this goes, start with a diet coke – pace yourself…Yep…
6. The ‘Oh why the hell not?’ Moment (About an hour later)
There’s always one person who switches up the party atmosphere by initiating shots. Chances are you’ll get dragged into it, or maybe you ARE that person. Well, we all know how this ends.
7. The Dancing
There’s three types of dancers at your Christmas Do. The ones who take it too seriously, the ones who throw their hands in the air like they just don’t care, and the people who simply don’t dance. There may also be a girl busting out the splits or maybe you and your crew have a dance routine rehearsed. Whatever your do – there will be dancing. Ladies – bring back up flats, your feet will thank you for it later.
8. The New Best Friends
Oh, hey person I’ve only made eye contact with once in the canteen queue but now we’re lifelong friends. Yep, this will inevitably happen, even more so in the ladies’ toilets where you’ll be complimenting each other’s outfits: “OMG Emma your hair looks beautiful, you’re such a great person – HOW have we not been friends before?!” Make the most of this friendship, as it may not survive past the weekend.
9. The Drama
As with any situation involving alcohol, drama often follows. Whether it’s love triangles, friendship fights or general vodka infuelled dramatics, be wary of the work drama.
10. The Fear
Ah, the fear. However with colleagues involved this gets multiplied by a thousand. Did I really kiss David from Marketing? That photo on Facebook is not a great angle and ouch, where did I get that bruise from? Oh yes, falling over three times in front of my boss – we’ll blame ‘the floor.’ And that’s before the dreaded possessions panic. Where did I put my phone? Have I got my keys? Uh oh, what are these receipts for?! Did I really buy takeout for my whole team? And why do I have 4 missed calls and 12 Whatsapps from my ex? Ahhhh the drunken text messages reminiscing about the good old days, yep that’s one bridge burned!
All this before Monday morning, depending on if you can face the fear head on and make it into work…
Bombers have brought their A-game all year and show no sign of stopping. So if you’re short on cash but still wanna look flash, here’s how to rock the piece both dressed up and down.
Whether you’re hitting up the clubs or chilling by the pool, you need a kimono in your life. Here are some of our faves…
Take a look on your next night out because chances are you’ll come across one or all of these people. Read and relate…
1. The girl who sees someone she got with once and tries to hide
Gift shopping stressing you out? Sit back, relax and let us help. No matter you budget, we’ve got the perf present guaranteed to make them smile.
1. Sunday nights are spent preparing each other for the week ahead. You know it’ll all be OK, because you’ve got each other
2. You spend the best part of Monday morning in the kitchen going over weekend gossip… although you already know what’s happened… because you were Whatsapping about that Tinder date fail Friday night, Saturday morning, all day Sunday…
3. Your lunches are planned by 11:30. You glance over at each other giving the knowing eye that’s it time to get out before anyone else can see you / join in
4. You go over your data allowance every month. “Did you see Emily go into that meeting with Sophie… what’s that all about”
5. When the new guy starts in accounts, you know everything about him. One of you has already stalked him on Linkedin, the others on his Instagram right now
6. You’re constantly getting weird stares from your co-workers… no-one else understands why a llama family is funny
7. You feel the same things… if one of you is off sick, there’s no point in the other coming in
8. Work parties almost always end in tears… but it’s ok, because your BFF is there to pick you up, tell you that you didn’t try and kiss that guy from IT, and assure you that you’re not getting fired next week
9. They’ll always listen to you moan about work when your non-work best friend / boyfriend / mum just roll their eyes
10. Most of all, they make the sun shine on even the dreariest day
Barack Obama is the United States of America’s 44th President. That’s a fact. And whilst we’re losing him from the White House, he’ll go down as the coolest President ever. And if you need reminding, we’ve got 10 times Obama proved he was the ultimate boss. You’re welcome.
Motivation left, right and centre
It’s that time of year again and if there’s a time to look fly, it’s at your Xmas do. Dress to impress (yep, we went there) in smart suits, statement dresses and killer co-ords.
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