So it’s been over a week since the cinema release of hotly anticipated 2nd instalment of the 50 shades series, and as expected, the internet’s full of feedback. I, on the other hand, am still trying to decide whether Grey would make a good BF, and that’s boyfriend by the way and not best friend because we’re two films in and I’ve yet to see him have any pals…
Pro – He’s loaded
From a fully kitted wardrobe to always having a car ready on standby, Ubering everywhere would be a thing of the past
Con – He’ll buy your business
And then technically be your boss. Back off and go and buy Apple or something…
Pro – He’s hot
No explanation needed
Con – He’s hot headed
Tells you not to go to New York? Tell him where to go AKA out of your life
Pro – He’ll buy you a Mac and Phone
Gifts are always good
Con – He’ll track your every move
Like some weird stalker ex. Let me breathe Grey FFS
Pro – He can survive a helicopter crash without a scrape
Can’t decide whether it’s completely unrealistic or ridiculously impressive
Con – He doesn’t call to say he’s okay
There you are watching a global news story live with Rita Ora and buzz there he pops out from the lift looking like he’s ran up a few stairs. Takes two seconds to click ‘call’ Christian
Pro – He’s career driven
Everyone loves an ambitious guy
Con – He doesn’t support yours
This work thing works two ways my flower
Pro – He lets you wear lipstick
He’s got half of MAC chilling in his closet
Con – But then makes you draw on his body with it
It’s £20 a tube CG, what a waste…
Pro – His house is the bomb
There’s Insta worthy opportunities everywhere, not to mention that grand piano casually in the lounge
Con – But there’s always that pesky red room of pain chilling
Like the elephant in the room
Pro – He’ll casually drop $24,000 into your bank account
Like it’s pocket money to him
Con – But then expect you to never leave his side
So technically that $24K you gave me, is just for us to spend more time together? Fab. Was hoping for a girls trip to Vegas but doesn’t matter…