I didn’t choose the Insta life, the Insta life chose me, and quite frankly it’s an addiction I, like millions of others won’t and don’t wanna kick. So how do you you know if you’re part of this squad? Read and see…
1. You’ve been known to ‘do it from the Gram’
Put on a dress for ‘the shot’ and then got back into your comfies? No-one will ever know.
2. You started churning phrases like: ‘It didn’t perform’ … on photos of you and your boyf
3. Meals are a photoshoot
4. Getting confused when people verbally tell you they liked your latest pic
5. You know your peak performance time
6. Insta-stalking over 4 weeks deep fills you with dread
7. You’ve got hashtags coming out of your ears
8. You’ve considered deleting a photo that flops
9. When the app goes down, you start going a little cray
10. You know to stand in the middle of group shots
11. Gone are the days of #nofilter
12. You feel like you know the people you follow on Instagram
13. I went out last night to that new Italian – “Yeah I know I saw it on your Instagram story”
14. You feel like you’ve Insta scrolled for miles
15. Whenever someone says they’re going on an epic holiday, you’ve considered unfollowing them
16. You’ve got Insta lost
17. You’ve got Insta poses down
Hot dog legs? Pah, could do that in my sleep.
18. Your phone’s full of images
But only 1 out of 20 will make the cut.
19. You’ve led an Insta-lie
That breakfast happened sure, about three weeks ago on a weekend in London. In reality you’re in bed.
20. Getting compliments on your feed is like winning an Oscar
I’d like to thank Afterlight, a good eye for photography, natural light and a marble backdrop.
