Ah Instagram – the app that’s brought our visual dreams to life. Our stories told through a picture perfect grid. But also a place where we’ve definitely done one or all of these…
1. Had a hashtag moment
Should we hashtag? How many? Which ones? #SENDHELP
2. Lead an Insta-lie
That brunch you just posted – sure it happened, about 12 weeks ago whilst you were visiting London. IRL you’re horizontal in bed with no plans to move for the foreseeable. What they don’t know won’t hurt them.
3. Stalked your ex
Sure Susie, tell yourself you ‘don’t care what he’s up to’, but come the weekend when you’re half a bottle of wine in, the next thing you know, you’re 71 weeks deep and *this* close to ‘reconnecting.’ Put down the phone, turn 4G off quick.
4. Got in too deep
Sum 41 knew. You were innocently browsing but you’ve just liked a photo from last summer. There’s no way back. You can unlike but that notification’s been sent. The only thing left to do is runaway, change your name and never come back.
5. Grammed at a peak time
Shout out to those that run their Insta by the clock. 7-9am = commuter peak and as for lunch breaks – we’ve got every flat lay of brunch you could ever dream of.
6. Deleted an unsuccessful pic
Under 11 likes? Consider it gone. Extra points to anyone’s who liked their own pic to get over this golden number.
7. Deleted a pic that didn’t flow
One for the themers out there. No Mark, I can’t post that selfie of us out in town last night – it’s too low res.
8. Bribed your mate
It’s had no likes. It’s a selfie to make their ex jealous. Like it now, or feel the wrath later.
9. Got lost
Ever have a spare 5 minutes and fancy a quick browse? 5 minutes turns into 5 hours and you’re knee-deep in holiday photos from your friend’s boyfriend’s sister’s 2007 trip to Toronto and want to ask where she got that embroidered dress from.
10. Done it for the ‘gram
Whether it’s carefully selecting where you’ll go for brunch or laying out a pretty flat lay when the rest of your place is a tip, don’t feel guilty babe, the app’s made us this way.
11. Insta first, food second
Forget about tucking into that fry up friend. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll let me take approx. 13 shots at all angles before lifting that silverware.
12. Sent subtle messages
I mean I didn’t tag you in that sarcastic quote I just posted but if the shoe fits, feel free to wear it…
13. Got appy happy
It started with a filter, how did it end up like this? Oh yeah, it went through three apps and four filters.
14. Been questioned on your Insta methods
Don’t hate the player, hate the game.
GIF source: Giphy