It’s three more sleeps until the big day. From having to explain to Auntie Carol why you’re still single (and loving it) at 21, to listening to your Dad trying to out-do cracker jokes (soz Pa, don’t quit the day job), it’s an obstacle course in getting through the day without falling out with someone / passing out on the sofa / ending up as the ‘bad child’ because you had too many Mimosas for breakfast and burnt the turkey when you were really trying to help.
Wanna know the easiest way to survive? Take regular breathers and make sure you get a bit of time to yourself to catch up with your BFFs. Because what’s a day without 52 Whatsapp notifications?
Here’s our guide to making it out alive…
10:00 | Get a Berocca down your neck, check your phone (convince yourself that any late-night dials only went as far as ‘Merry Christmas’) and put a smile on your face for the family.
10:30 | You’re all gathered in the living room and ready to open presents. Let the little ones go first. Make sure to thank the ‘rents and offer a helping hand with dinner – it means more than you think.
11:30 | You’ve chopped enough veg to feed the village and Mum/ Dad. Escape for a bit and get ready for the family selfie with that new contouring kit you found under the tree.
12:30 | Grandma’s here! Take her coat, show her everything you got for Christmas (she’ll love it) and hand her a glass of sherry.
13:00 | Whatsapp / Facetime break (sorry fam!)
13:45 | A Muppet’s Christmas Carol is on Channel 4 –THE perfect entertainment!
15:25 | Miss Piggy, we heart you! But now the singing’s over it’s time to get back to business and dinner is SERVED.
15:55 | Can’t. Manage. Another. Bite.
16:15 | Oh hello chocolate bomb I’ve been waiting for you…
16:30 | Oh. My. Sweet. Baby. J… why did I do this to myself?
16:45 | Get to the sofa quick time while there’s space. Snooze…
17:45 | Did someone say Home Alone 2 on 4? Time to get lost in New York again.
20:00 | Someone’s just suggested Scrabble. You pitch for Charades or Pictionary instead.
20:45 | Mum’s trying to get you to stop because the last ever Downton is on and she just can’t miss it (ITV).
21:00 | Run off to your room and flick to Gogglesprogs on C4+1.You WILL have that thought that you’d be so funny on Gogglebox and become the next Scarlett Moffatt.
22:00 | You’ve done a good 12 hours. It’s perfectly acceptable to go to bed now.
image source: giphy